Friday, October 18, 2013
I haven't written in some time now and for that I apologize. So much has happened, it just feels unreal. Like a huge mess is whirling around me, trying to distract me and discourage me. I had been told over and over again that Satan would challenge me, especially before my mission, to prevent me from leaving and helping the work, but never did I think these adversities would come upon me. I thought to myself, "Challenges? Bring it on Satan! I can handle it." Now I think to myself, "Please give me the strength to overcome what I must face." Where would I be without the Gospel? In trying times like these, I know I would be lost and feel alone, but because of my testimony, I can hold my chin up high. I can continue on hitting that punching bag (Satan) that keeps coming back, trying to knock me down.
I have since spoken in church, which I must say was one of the biggest reliefs to me. After that, things started to spin, putting me in an emotional tornado. Yes, not a rollercoaster... a tornado. On a rollercoaster, you have a secured seat, sometimes a companion next to you who goes everywhere you do, and you have a start and finish. A tornado can take you in any direction, you are tossed and brutally afflicted, and you have no idea when it will throw you back on the ground. Have I ever been in a real one? Ha no, of course not. Thinking about being in one though and trying to keep my eyes open during the commotion would be a headache, much like this life is if we do not close our eyes. When I do, I reflect on what I know and believe. I try to separate myself from the world around me. And the best thing I can do, and everyone else can do, is turn to Christ. He suffered all. He knows every pain we have or ever will feel. He knows PERFECTLY what we are going through. I think that even though I know this, I relearn it with each trial. That is why the Atonement is so important to remember. It is something so incomprehensible, that it should humble us to even think of what He and the Father did for our mankind.
Now some of you are probably thinking that I'm crazy and an emotional wreck and I will tell you that it has been pretty emotional for me. But, because I know how to stand on my feet again, I wish for all to be able to as well. My friend, who is currently serving a mission, recommended a new method to saying personal prayers. He told me that when he starts off his prayer with expressing to Heavenly Father how he feels, he understands better on how to ask for help and makes him feel better! I started to do it as well and have noticed a change just as he has! Our Father is there to help us, and even though he knows how we feel, it's nice to open up to Him. I feel like it's letting Him into my heart. I am happier when I do this and can sleep peacefully! So my challenge to you... is to do the same! It's quite simple really. As you reverently kneel, and offer a sincere prayer, believing God is listening, I promise you will feel something powerful and good inside! That feeling is brought on by what is called the Spirit or the Holy Ghost. If you have trouble, continue to do it and don't lose faith! He wants you speak with Him, that's why He gave us prayer. Remember, even Christ prayed to God.
Good luck and God be with you! :)
3 Nephi 18:18 Behold, verily, verily, I say unto you, ye must watch and pray always lest ye enter into temptation; for Satan desireth to have you, that he may sift you as wheat.
Joshua 1:9 Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.